Flying into trouble

Flying into trouble

The Collosseum in Rome

Back in the 90s, before I found Emirates (lovely airline, recommend them to anyone), Alitalia still flew to Australia. I had been on Alitalia planes within Italy and I thought I would try them internationally. It was my one and only flight.

Smoking had been banned at this stage by most airlines but it was still allowed on Alitalia. I booked a non-smoking seat, not worried about how they separated non-smoking from smoking. I figured they would put all the smokers in a separate section, how, I wasn’t sure.

I boarded the flight and discovered that they had made the last four rows smoking, of course, I was in the fifth row from the back and might as well have been in one of those smoking rooms you see at Asian airports where people desperate for a smoke are puffing for all their life is worth. We had a cloud of smoke above our heads and a cacophony of coughing for most of the flight.

I was seated next to a girl from British Airways and an elderly lady from Calabria on her first trip home for 40 years. We started a conversation and apart from the smoke we had a pleasant first leg of the flight.

When we arrived in Bangkok we had the normal turn around as people left the flight and people got on.  I lost my companion from BA as she was catching a connecting flight to the UK. A man got on to take her place and we took off. Conversation had slowed as we were getting tired and basically run out of conversation.

A young lady in the same row but across the aisle, who was still in holiday mode – she was wearing very little and what she was wearing was more suited to the beach – got up to have a cigarette. She went to the back of the plane (a whole three metres!) and joined a group of young Italian men who had got on in Bangkok. She stayed with them for about 20 minutes but they must have said something she didn’t like as she came and sat down again. One of the young men followed her and tried to convince her to rejoin the group. Unfortunately he was holding a cigarette and found it necessary to hold on to my seat. His cigarette kept dancing in front of my face as he puffed away and then relaxed. His hand was pulling my hair every time he held on to the seat again. I complained but he was concentrating on the girl. He kept looking around and saying sorry and then the cigarette and hand would come back. The flight attendants were no where in sight so I was stuck. He finally got the message and removed himself to the rear of the plane and I thought, great, we will have some peace now.

But I was wrong, the fun had only just begun!

There were six or seven guys standing at the rear of the plane and they were all drinking. They had boarded in Bangkok and must have been well on the way to being drunk  there.  The flight attendant kept bring them two and three drinks at a time (illegal but this was Alitalia) and then disappearing to have a cigarette himself presumably.

They got through all the beer and then all the scotch on board, finally draining the drinks pool to gin and coca cola (yuk!), they got rowdy and stated moving around the back of the plane. The little old lady sitting next to me started getting nervous and several other people started complaining to the group as well. Me, being a busybody, went to the galley and asked the flight attendant to have a word with them and to stop bringing them alcohol because they had obviously had too much. I was told that he was serving them alcohol in the hope that they would soon fall asleep and not to worry.

I got back to my seat just in time to see the ringleader trying to open the back door of the plane. I am presuming that he was so drunk that he didn’t know what he was doing because no one in their right mind would try and get some fresh air that way. I have found out since from a friend who is a Qantas pilot, that it is impossible to open the doors mid-flight.

A number of people saw this and we all pressed the buzzer for the flight attendant. The ceiling lit up with little red lights as we were all very nervous by this stage. The flight attendant came back to see what was wrong and managed to get most of the group to sit down. They managed to stay in their seats for about five minutes, just long enough for the flight attendant to disappear...again!

The rowdy behaviour started again and an older female flight attendant (about 50 – Alitalia aren’t ageist, it’s their only good point) came down the back and yelled at them. This seemed to have a settling effect, rather like mum screaming at you. Again they sat down. They did fall asleep or kept quiet for about 20 minutes. The rest of the passengers at the back of the plane, who seemed to have been forgotten by the rest of the flight staff, finally had some peace. It didn’t last long.

Sure enough they woke up and started get active again. This time the poor old toilets at the back of the plane caught their attention. They started to rip out the paper holders and spray the soap around making an awful mess. Toilet paper was thrown as they seemed to relish this new game.

This time everybody started yelling for the flight attendant and he came quickly. He realised he would not be able to control this on his own so he called for reinforcements. We presume they were from the flight deck because they were in full uniform including caps but several men came and restrained the ringleader and one other male and put them in their seats and handcuffed them to the arms. The others got a stern warning and were told to sit down in no uncertain terms. All of this was going on in Italian so heaven help the passengers who didn’t understand.

The journey continued and soon we were landing at Rome airport. We landed and taxied to a spot, miles away it seemed, from the terminal.  Soon buses appeared and we all disembarked and got on.  However, the buses didn’t leave and we stayed there for about ten minutes, all crowded together, hot and sleep deprived. We wondered what was going on, we didn’t have to wait for long. Soon we heard police sirens racing to the plane. The police ran up the stairs of the plane and about five minutes later came down with the two handcuffed passengers and the other four young men. The staff on board had prevented them from disembarking. The passengers from the rear of the flight had all got on the one bus and we let out an enormous roar as they were placed in police cars and then swiftly driven off. My only regret was not being there when they went to court and telling them how terrified people actually were.

I had a flight to catch for Linate ( Milan’s second airport) so I hurried through the airport to the domestic terminal. I had about 50 minutes to wait but was dreading another flight on Alitalia. I knew it couldn’t be as bad as the flight I had just got off but I had already decided I would never fly with them again – when and if I got home.

The Duomo in Milan

After an uneventful flight I arrived at Linate and after finding the rest of the group, travelled to our hotel in Oltrepo Pavese.

Next: A family argument and beautiful villas.